Yan Sun is still sitting cross-legged in the bed by the time Jessica's done showering, although she's relocated deeper into the bed, pulling up her hood and withdrawing her right hand into her sleeve to shield against the persistent cold that seems to find its way inside every so often. Her omni-tool interface is active, and she's reading in silence, her face partly obscured by hood and bangs. Her mind is inevitably stuck on what
#YanSun'sRoom – March 31, 2018
Jessica said, and every so often she finds herself staring right through the projected screen as her thoughts drift.
Jessica eventually makes her way out of the bathroom dressed in a loose-fitting white tanktop and a pair of soft black pants with a white drawstring. A lifetime on Aite has allowed her to grow accustomed to the harsh winters, at least moreso than Yan Sun, so she isn't nearly as bothered by the cold. "Fuck. Is cold!" Not as bothered, but still a complainer. "Did you leave the window open?!" she growls as she crosses the room to check
Yan Sun 's gaze is torn away from the screen by Jessica's cursing, and she dispels the hologram while shifting to look over at her. "No... this planet just has the worst winters..." she mutters, stuffing both hands into the pockets of her hoodie now that she's no longer on her omni-tool. Her eye remains lit.
Jessica doesn't seem ready to take Yan Sun's word for it, instead she continues to check the window, running her finger along the bottom to ensure no cold air is slipping through. Despite nothing coming through, she still lifts the window open slightly, causing a cold gust to enter the room, and recloses it. "Gaaaah! Coldcoldcold!" she mutters as she brings her bare arms across herself to fight off the gust and turns back to face
Yan Sun. Teeth bared, she bites down as a chill settles in and she runs her right hand across her left forearm.
Yan Sun briefly covers her face with her palm, a quiet, low-energy snicker slipping out before she uses the hand to brush her bangs out of her face. "Uh... yeah?"
Jessica slowly meanders back towards the edge of the bed. "Mmm." she grunts, bringing one ice-cubified hand up to Yan Sun and tucking it beneath her hood to rest on her neck.
Yan Sun makes no attempt to escape her ice-y fate, but nonetheless squirms as the cold hand presses against her neck, a "Gwwwh..." slipping through gritted teeth. The reaction is fairly subdued by her standards. She reaches back with her own hand, grasping Jessica's and pulling it out from beneath her hood. She envelops it in both of her own, encouraging Jessica to sit in the process as she rubs the hand between her own, looking
Jessica frowns as she doesn't get as much of a reaction as she had hoped for, but she sits down beside Yan Sun when her left hand is taken, crossing one leg under herself so she can face her. The tattoo on her hand starts at the top knuckle with the upper half of a human skull covering her hand, as if the jaw has been removed. Her own gaze joins Yan Sun's in studying her hand. Inevitably, it causes her to lift her other hand and
rest it on Yan Sun's knee as she turns her attention away from her tattooed hand to her burned hand, silently recalling the colorful tattoos that decorated it, now replaced with rough patches of discolored flesh.
Yan Sun traces a finger along the tattoo, her expression remaining distant and a little uncomfortable. Her gaze darts over to the other hand, and a quiet, barely audible sigh escapes her. She reaches for it, bringing both hands together, fingertips brushing across the coarse, burned skin of her right hand now. In part it's an idle distraction as she searches for the words that aren't coming to her, and in part it's an inescapable
reminder of everything that Jessica has been through... and everything that she's done. A hint of a faint, awkward smile briefly crosses her lips before fading with as little explanation as it appeared. "You're not a bad person, Jessica. Maybe you don't believe that, but-... but I do. I've seen how much you care and-... and... I know you don't want to be who this place forced you to be. If-... if you think that makes me
stupid, then... whatever. I'll be stupid. I know I'm right." she says, meeting Jessica's gaze for a moment before lowering it again, taking a deep breath. "I-I can't pretend to understand how it feels to-... to..." she goes quiet for a brief moment, swallowing as her thumb brushes across burnt skin. "... to lose everything like you have. But... I do understand why you're-... why you said what you did. You're afraid." Her gaze
Jessica scoffs loudly, looking away from Yan Sun and towards the wall as she begins speaking, already well aware of where she's going with it. But, for whatever reason- whether guilt over avoiding Yan Sun all day or simply due to the reality check served to her by the Collectors- she doesn't interrupt her. "I am not needing you to-... to understand me..." she says, though her words lacks a bit of the usual bite they tend to carry.
She pulls her focus back to the woman at her side. "You do not get it. I am not like you. I do not have my father's money. Or-... or some fancy school." she says and, for once, it doesn't appear to be a barbed attack. Just honesty. "In Adrasteia? Every day I fight to make another day. I struggle. I steal. I kill for everything I have. And then a man-..." she stammers, drawing in a heavy breath before looking back to Yan
Sun as the words get stuck in her throat. "...A man burned my family alive, kitty cat. Burn them like fucking garbage. My friends. My memories. My entire fucking life!" A renegade tear makes its escape, but it's not sadness behind her brown eye. It's anger. Pure anger. "And the galaxy love him for it. You see? It does not matter what I believe, mmm? The galaxy has already made up their mind about me. And you
know what? They are right. Because I spend the next year doing whatever it takes-..." she shuts her eyes as she trails off "Whatever it takes..." she repeats as her eyes flutter open and with her eyes come more tears. The anger for Cross is quickly replaced by the weight she carries for Souta, the boy caught in the path of her wrecking ball, is far more than a baseball cap that she can decide when to unburden herself with.
"Even you." she admits, a brief sniffle interrupting her voice. She pulls her right hand away, using the back of it to wipe beneath her left eye, braving the rough surface left behind by the fire. "When I meet you and I am seeing what you can do with that elevator? I am only thinking one thing: What can you do for me?" She studies Yan Sun's face for a moment after her admission.
Yan Sun 's gaze falls at the references to her past. Even when it's not meant to sting it inevitably brings with it that ever-present guilt over having run away from a life that so many would kill for. The fear that she's really just a clueless, spoiled brat who left behind a 'perfect' life for a taste of excitement and freedom. She's quickly pulled away from those thoughts as Jessica continues, their eyes meeting again as she
talks about Cross. Her gaze once again falls as a brief moment of silence takes hold. She knows very well what Jessica is thinking of, and that uneasy churning fills her stomach again as she stares down at their hands. It was hard for her to reconcile that the woman next to her, that she cared so much about, had been responsible for that. Remorse doesn't do much for the dead. And yet she was still there. Her feelings were
still there. No matter how in over her head she feels, how crazy part of her feels for having fallen so hard for someone so troubled so quickly, she doesn't have it in herself to give up on Jessica. Not after the last two months. Not after getting to know the flawed, complicated, contradictory woman she is so intimately. Stubborn, insecure, angry, passionate, vulnerable, sentimental, apathetic, curious, crude, sweet,
reckless, insightful, bold and terrified. She was a product of Adrasteia. She had adapted to her surroundings. But she wasn't just some heartless killer, as much as she pretended otherwise. The final admission causes her to suck in her lips, giving a few faint nods. It stings. She can't deny that. Her gaze remains on Jessica's left hand, fidgeting with it as she avoids meeting her gaze. She doesn't respond right away, but
eventually she lets out a heavy sigh, looking up at Jessica as she asks: "And... when you look at me now? What do you think?"
Jessica holds Yan Sun's gaze, blinking away a few tears that fall freely down her cheek. She doesn't bother wiping them away this time. She slowly pulls her attention back to their hands as she plucks away idly at Yan Sun's fingers, unwilling to convince herself to answer the question honestly. There's no denying that what started back on that elevator has grown into a full blown relationship. She's certainly no stranger to
relationships. But somewhere along the way, Adrasteia twisted what a relationship meant to her. 'Happiness' took a backseat. It became about what the other person could offer her. What she could squeeze out of them. And when nothing was left? Toss them aside and leave another broken heart in her wake. But sitting on the Jack of Diamonds after everything she went through, she wasn't considering what Yan Sun could do for her
or what else she could scam Yan Sun out of. She just wanted to be back in the arms of one of the few remaining people in the galaxy who know her... really know her. Someone she doesn't have to put on any fronts for, find angles, or maintain lies. "I-... I am thinking that maybe home is not a 'where'... Is just a 'who'..." she repeats her previous words softly, a bit of that self consciousness creeping back into her voice
as she speaks from the heart. She only briefly looks back to Yan Sun's eyes before her gaze falls right back to their hands and she shrugs to herself. "...So I will go to wherever you are." Her voice is low. Almost defeated. She finds herself caught between the fear of the danger that she knows she's putting Yan Sun in by simply being with her and her own selfish desire to... be happy. Even that small admission to herself
is enough to cause pangs of guilt to shoot through her chest. A desire for happiness while her family rots in the ground and the man who did it sits in an ivory tower.
Yan Sun 's gaze remains on Jessica, studying the features of her face in silence as she waits, and listens. She sniffles quietly, blinking back a few tears of her own when Jessica looks up at her. As silence takes over she squeezes Jessica's hands, giving a few small, quick nods before shifting her legs, folding them to her side as she wraps her arms around Jessica, pulling her into a close hug, her left hand quickly finding
itself on the back of her neck as she holds her close, drawing in a deep, slightly uneven breath. She doesn't say anything.
Jessica's gaze remains low, peering over Yan Sun's shoulder once she's wrapped up in a hug. Her discomfort over being so candid is apparent. Silence fills the air and she remains still, tears running from her still-functional eye. She remains this way for several seconds, lost in her own thoughts before she manages to bring her arms tightly around Yan Sun and press a kiss against her shoulder.
Yan Sun is in no rush to move, holding Jessica as silence continues to fill the room. When the hug is returned at last she squeezes more tightly for a moment, her thumb brushing back and forth against the stubble at the top of Jessica's neck. Her cheek and lips press against the nook of her shoulder as she closes her eyes, remaining in place. Another sniffle slips out, and a tear escapes onto her cheek. She still doesn't speak,
just sitting there as she appreciates the rare moment of honest emotion and the comforting feeling of someone that, despite everything, has become so important to her in her arms. She silently hopes Jessica feels some of that comfort as well.
Jessica continues to simply hold Yan Sun in her arms, lips pressed against the shoulder of Yan Sun's tear stained hoodie in complete silence aside from the occasional sniffle. Eventually she pulls in a deep breath and tilts her head to the side to press a kiss against Yan Sun's cheek. "...I don't want you to get hurt because of me, kitty cat..." she says softly, emotionally drained by this point.
Yan Sun lifts her own head as she feels Jessica stir, loosening the hug but not letting go, her left hand coming to rest on her shoulder as she studies her with one normal, brown eye and one glowing blue. "I won't." she assures gently, although it's hardly within her power to promise. A sigh follows as her own emotional exhaustion makes itself known, and she leans in to press a soft kiss against Jessica's lips.
Jessica returns the kiss. Just a quick peck against Yan Sun's lips. Far from her usual aggressive, assertive behavior. She pulls her head back briefly, her eye scanning from Yan Sun's left to her right. This is usually the part where she'd tell her how stupid she's being. How it's not as simple as just deciding that things will be okay. How her feeble words will do little to stop the people looking for her. But she doesn't.