Jason fights back against his own instincts to dodge the question. To deflect it with humor. To change the subject. It's a ridiculous notion, that he'd feel insecure in admitting his fears to a 7 year old. But the thing about masks is that once you've worn one for long enough, it becomes difficult to take off. Again, his thoughts turn to his father. To just how unreachable he always seemed to Jason. A monolith. His 'comfortable
#RedrockAgency – February 28, 2021
lies' rarely did much to make Jason feel better. They just made his father feel... distant to him. That's not the way he wants Li to see him. It's not the way he wants his own child to see him. So he gives a playful furrow of his brow as he tilts his head down to look Li's way. "You kidding me...?" he asks before giving a sharp nod. "Of course I get scared." he says, speaking in a tone as if it's the most natural thing in
Li looks genuinely surprised, and her gaze falls for a moment as she processes this. "What do you do when you get scared?" she asks as she looks back up at Jason.
Halisi casts a glance Ilyna's way mid-stretch, a slight grin on her lips. "Mm, you do that." she agrees with an oh-so-serious nod before letting her arms drop and getting up from her seat.
Vasquez collects the cup of coffee from the machine once it's finished, starting on her way back to the others. She stops as she notices what's on the screen, shooting Cynthia a questioning look.
Ilyna sits up straight after Halisi's comment to her. "Or I can not be lazy and assist you," she says with a chuckle and rises to her feet before the doctor can utter any assurances to the contrary. She does stop for a moment to stretch a bit once standing, however.
Jason's gaze briefly travels back to the wall opposite of him as he considers the question, brow furrowed in thought. Drown it in a bottle? Not exactly an answer befitting a 7 year old. But as he recalls his first tour in the Traverse, a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. His short time stationed on Mindoir had done little to prepare him for the danger and sheer brutality that boarding parties often faced. For six
weeks he sat on that ship, waiting for his squad's turn in the rotation. It was torture. Forced to sit by as men and women who were infinitely his better were put through the ringer, all the while knowing his time would come. During those first few weeks he almost threw in the towel. Almost called it quits. But it was his many talks with Gage- often times whispered in a room full of sleeping marines- that gave him the
encouragement to stick it out. "You know I-... umm-..." he begins, eyes tilting towards the floor as he realizes his answer might not be as simple as she had hoped. "...I learned a long time ago that being brave doesn't mean you're not afraid. Everyone gets scared. From the biggest, meanest marine to the smartest, most well-trained asari. Doesn't matter who you are." he explains with a small shake of his head. "You
Halisi looks puzzled by Ilyna's response, eyebrows furrowing a bit, not entirely sure whether to protest, or perhaps be offended. "Oh. Uh... very well." she settles for, shrugging and flashing an awkwardly stilted smile before starting around the coffee table. It doesn't exactly feel like a two person task, so she's not sure what to make of the asari's reaction. 'Overly worried about Li' seems like a safe bet. It usually is, and it's
Cynthia snickers. "Okay, so... it's a turian show, right? Turian made. And for some reason they decided to make a Christmas! And-... hehm... and-... they-... so, I don't think any of 'em ever... talked to a human. It's a shiiitshooooow. And we gotta watch it."
Li is listening closely, attention fixed on Jason. His question is met with a faint, puzzled shake of her head.
Ilyna raises a brow at Halisi. "You weren't poking fun at me for staying put?" she asks in a light-hearted tone, but she starts making her way to the doorway regardless. A faint snort escapes her as she overhears Cynthia's description of the vid, silently wondering for a moment if it's an opportunity to compare what she and Li has learned abotu the holiday with a alleged poor turian interpretation of it.
Jason props up a small smile. "It means doing what needs to be done even though you're scared." he says as he studies Li. "I've had the honor of knowing some of the bravest people the galaxy has to offer." he continues. This time, however, his thoughts don't turn to his father. No, he wasn't brave. He was a scared, lonely man. A coward who hid behind false bravado. Hid from the world. Hid from his son in a time when they
should have been mourning together. This time his thoughts turn to Gage. To his uncle. Ilyna. Vasquez. People who have been put in tough situations time and time again, but still do the right thing when it matters. They don't give up. They don't quit, even when the weight on their shoulders is so much that it seems like it might crush them. They persevere against all odds. "And-... umm-..." he swallows, brow furrowing once
again in thought, "...when I was scared, one of them taught me something. A technique for dealing with it when things get a little-... too scary." he says, his tone as if this is some ancient and sacred secret. "Whaddya think? Think I should teach it to you...?" he asks, giving her a playful jostle as he does, "Hmm?"
Halisi still seems offput as she leads the way towards the door. "I... suppose I was?" she agrees, although it sounds a bit more like a question. It seems the playful mood has left her, but she adds an "You shouldn't take me quite so seriously." in an attempt to recover, a flash of a smile accompanying the words as she glances Ilyna's way for a brief moment.
Vasquez just shakes her head a little, a faint smirk on her lips. As Halisi passes she holds out the arm with the cup to block her. "Your coffee, doctor."
Halisi starts slightly as her path is blocked. "Ah, thank you." she says, shooting Vasquez an appreciative smile as she accepts the cup. "Much needed." she adds with half a laugh.
Cynthia makes a dismissive gesture at Vasquez' lack of interest in her description, sinking deep into her armchair once more and taking a swig of her beer.
Li is still hanging onto every word, nodding along with them. Jason's question elicits a series of more rapid nods.
Ilyna tilts her head briefly at the last comment. "I shouldn't take the doctor quite so seriously," she says, twisting the words. "Noted." She returns a glance of her own, a grin showing up.
Jason snickers, smile returning to his face. He makes a show of considering it for a second. "Alright." he decides. Drawing in a deep breath, he shifts in place, sitting a bit heavier against the wall as he prepares to impart wisdom onto her that was imparted onto him many years ago. "The secret is-...." he pauses for dramatic effect, "...just keep it simple." He studies her for a moment rather than continuing his explanation
Halisi opens her mouth to protest, before letting out a faint sigh and shaking her head, a hint of amusement in her face as she wraps her hands around the coffee cup and brings it up to her lips, taking a tentative sip. A long breath and a quiet hum follows, her mission temporarily halted by the importance of coffee.
Vasquez snorts quietly as she overhears part of Halisi and Ilyna's exchange, walking past them back to the couch and retaking her seat.
Ilyna comes to a stop right next to Halisi, looking at her sipping her coffee. For a moment, she looks a little bit jealous as warm and energizing sounds good right about now. "You shouldn't take me too seriously now either," she says, knowing full and well Halisi is doing just that.
Jason snickers, offering a small shake of his head. "It means-..." he begins, trying to consider how best to adapt his friend's explanation to suit a 7 year old. "When things get scary, we tend to overthink stuff. Right?" he jostles her playfully once again. Clearing the halls of a slaver ship feels a bit too heavy of an example for Li. But a small smirk slips into his features as a, perhaps, more appropriate analogy comes to him.
"Let's say you're cooking a dinner for a whole bunch of people. And-... maybe cooking just isn't your thing. So you're freaking out, thinking of all the ways it's gonna go wrong. It's gonna burn! It's gonna taste bad! All of your guests are gonna hate it! It's gonna ruin the day for everyone!" he lists. "Pretty scary, right? Matter of fact, it might be so scary that you decide you'd rather just-..." he shrugs, "...not cook
at all. Easier that way, isn't it? But you can't do that. People are depending on you to make dinner. And you've already got your-..." he extends his hand in front of him, palm towards himself and looks it over as if reading a book, "...your recipe. You've already got your ingredients. You know what to do. Just keep it simple." he repeats, turning his attention back to Li. "Focus on that first step. The rest doesn't matter
until you've finished that first step anyway. So don't focus on what can go wrong. Don't overwhelm yourself worrying about what everyone else is gonna think about it. Just-..." he shakes his head, "...focus on slicing some cheese. One step at a time. And? Before long?" he shrugs, propping up that smile of his, "You've got yourself a delicious dinner. That is bravery."
Halisi opens her eyes, previously closed to enjoy that precious first sip to its full extent. She shoots Ilyna a slightly confused look and a light "Hm?"
Vasquez tugs up the sleeve of her sweater to active her omni-tool yet again, eyebrows furrowing as her display expands and she studies whatever is on it intently.
Cynthia already seems to be in danger of dozing off again, a little too comfortable in her armchair.
Li nods a couple of times as she listens. It's hard to tell just how much is sticking, but she's a thoughtful kid, and it's obvious that she's paying attention. After Jason finishes she looks down at the floor, thinking. After a moment her fown deepens and she looks up. "Dinner isn't scary..." she says, as if the example is silly.
Ilyna matches the confused look for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Just... nothing," she says. "I meant, I'll always take your advice seriously, but I don't think you doubted that."
Jason snickers to himself. "I guess that depends on who's cooking it..." he offers in a mutter. "Alright, maybe not the best example." he relents with a sigh. "But it is solid advice. And it's gotten me through a lot of scary situations." he assures her, a bit of unintended weight slipping into his undertone as the Collector ship still weighs heavily on his mind.
Li giggles quietly, but something about the tone of the words that follow makes her nod, the thoughtful look returning.
Halisi lets out a surprised snort of laughter, smiling a little. "Oh, I've been at Redrock long enough to expect everyone to ignore my advice." she says jokingly. Well... mostly jokingly. "Good to know someone listens." she adds, the smile softening a little before her gaze turns to the door again, crossing the last distance and causing it to slide open in response to her proximity. She pokes her head out and looks around,
Vasquez frowns at her omni-tool, reaching out to swipe at something when she notices Cynthia's precarious situation out of the corner of her eye. "Cyn. Bottle." she says.
Cynthia startles slightly and tightens her grip. A swig follows before she sets the bottle down on the table with an inaudible grumble.
Ilyna gives an understanding smile to Halisi, but she doesn't respond to it beyond that. She pokes her head out of the doorway behind Halisi, her eyes finding Jason and Li quickly. They seem to be in a good mood. "Are you getting sleepy, sweetie?" she asks.