Nightmares: Yan Sun

Nightmares: Yan Sun

Yan Sun felt cold. The dining room was always too chilly. She wasn’t even convinced that it was the actual temperature. The furnishing was so frigid. Impersonal. Rain was smattering against the expansive glass roof. The gray clouds cast a gloomy light in the room. If she looked to the right she would be gazing out over the Hong Kong skyline through the massive, room-wide window. She had missed her city. Part of her had even missed this place. Her attention was pulled to the other end of the table as her father spoke. The table was longer than she remembered, but she had no trouble hearing him. He was wearing his suit, as always. Her mother was there too, standing behind him. She was in her favorite dress.

“I gave you everything you wanted.” he said with a sigh, a weary disappointment in his face. “Anything you asked for. Your education, your sims, your computers… the shuttle. The only thing I asked for in return, the one thing, was that you be a good daughter. That you would one day continue my legacy. My father’s legacy. What our family built.”

Yan Sun looked down at her plate, unable to face him. She prodded her food in silence.

“Instead what did you do? You neglected your studies, started misbehaving, stealing, disappearing for days. You threw away everything you had and brought shame to your family because you allowed that dyke to poison your mind!”

She flinched as her father raised his voice, wanting desperately to speak up in defense of herself, of her actions, of Changying and her feelings for her, but the words wouldn’t come to her, her initial urge to outrage giving way to shame over disappointing her father, and disgust over her own actions. There was something wrong with her, wasn’t there? Was there any meaning to the things she’d done? Had her relationship with Changying been genuine? Or had it just been to rebel? To upset her father in the ways she knew would hurt most?

Her mother stepped forward then, placing a hand on her father’s shoulder to calm his anger, only sadness and worry in her eyes.

“We only wanted what was best for you… you know that, don’t you? We tried to help… but you only pushed us away. You refused to listen, and she hurt you. Now you have gone across the galaxy to get away… left behind the people that love you for a life of uncertainty and danger. We don’t even know if you’re alive. I hope every day that you will reach out… it is not too late to make things right. You can still come home.”

Yan Sun felt tears welling up in her eyes,, overcome with guilt. “Mother, I-... I’m sorry, I never-...” was all she managed before her father interrupted.

“You see how your disappearance has hurt your mother? Is this how you would treat your parents, after everything we have done for you? And now you have run right into the arms of the next perverted thug that would have you. Did I not raise my daughter better than that? You know she is just using you, do you not? She would sell you in a heartbeat if the price was right. You are a fool and a degenerate, not the sweet, brilliant girl we loved. You have made your choice, and you are not welcome any longer.”