Industry News Weekly

An Interview With Devin Tanner

[A pair of hosts, a human man and woman, are on-screen discussing a recent vid that received great reviews.]

Female Host: Exactly, Tom! Now, speaking of box office successes, Industry News Weekly's very own Danere Narus is here to bring you her exclusive interview with the one-and-only Devin Tanner! Fresh off the trip to Aite that's been making headlines, he's here to give us the low-down on exactly what happened!

[An asari in a decorative purple gown is sitting in a comfortable leather chair, opposite of Devin Tanner who seems to be sporting a pretty serious black eye. Despite that, his trademark smile is plastered across his face.]

Danere Narus: Thank you, Judy. Now, let's just get right into it, Mr. Tanner. What exactly happened during your trip to Aite? Why were you there in the first place?

[Devin Tanner gives the asari a sheepish shrug and a devilish smirk]

Devin Tanner: Devin. You can call me Devin. There's no real story behind it, Danere. Like many others, I'm a big fan of DJ Zolnon. I've seen him a few times before. Heard he would be playing on Aite, which is sort of a huge deal given the planet's status, and thought I'd take a little trip and check it out.

[Danere Narus looks directly towards the camera as she speaks]

Danere Narus: Well, when we return, we'll discuss how this 'little trip' turned out to be anything but! And maybe Devin here will be kind enough to fill us in on some details regarding his new love.

[The camera flashes to Devin as the show's theme music plays, he's chuckling light heartedly and conversing with Danere, although the mics are off.]

[After a number of sponsored commercials play, the theme music kicks back in. Danere and Devin can still be seen laughing and conversing as the show's slogan is read aloud by a male correspondent. “Industry News Weekly, the only source willing to get you all the juicy details about what's going on in the entertainment industry!”]

Danere Narus: Welcome back. So, a lot of reports have been coming out of Adrasteia that mention a fight, along with numerous photos that seem to depict you and a few women being placed under arrest. Do you care to put the rumors to rest, Mr. Tanner?

[Devin listens intently as the asari speaks, nodding along in certain places.]

Devin Tanner: Absolutely, Danere. We were never “placed under arrest”, as the rumors like to embellish. As you all know, Adrasteia can be a very dangerous place. As a result, my agent hired on some local security, Redrock Agency. Those women being loaded into the Enforcer shuttle with me were my bodyguards. Things got a little out-of-hand at the club. A few fans asked me to take some photos with them as we were on our way out. Now, you know me, Danere, I'm a people pleaser. So, while my security thought it was a bad idea, my hands were tied. In my head, the decision was already made: fans come first. On Aite? Turns out it was a bad move.

[Both Devin and Danere give a hearty laugh.]

Devin Tanner: Turns out they were just looking to lure us away from the public to rob us. There were six of 'em, including a krogan. Now, I'm not the biggest guy in the galaxy, but I wasn't about to give up my hard-earned credits without a fight. I put a few of 'em down, but you never come out of an encounter with a krogan unscathed.

[He points to the dark purple ring around his eye.]

Devin Tanner: Lucky for me, Redrock know what they're doing. They handled the rest and kept me safe until the Enforcers arrived. Speaking of which, it's nice to see that a lawless city out in the Terminus can get its act together and turn things around. Mr. Cross is doing some good work out there.

[Danere puts on an act of hanging on Devin's every word, nodding alongside as he speaks.]

Danere Narus: That's an incredible story, Devin. But you know that we're all about getting to the bottom of things here on Industry News...

[The asari begins to chuckle, and Devin joins in, rubbing at his forehead uncomfortably, as if he knows where this is going.]

Danere Narus: Ilyna T'Rea.

[A photo of Ilyna and Devin covers the corner of the screen, depicting them hand-in-hand, being ushered towards an Enforcer shuttle outside of the club 'Illumination'.]

Danere Narus: The galaxy wants to know, Devin, what's going on there? Beautiful femme fatale bodyguard, merely looking out for one of the industry's most eligible bachelors? Hot, passionate weekend out in the Terminus systems? Or is there something more? Something... real?

[Devin stares off-screen at what one would assume is the photo being displayed to him. He reaches up and rubs at his chin, looking a bit distant, as if deep in thought. He begins to nod to himself.]

Devin Tanner: Why not all of the above, Danere?

[Danere gives a mock expression of shock, and the two share in some more laughter.]

Devin Tanner: But I'm not one to kiss-and-tell, so that's all you'll get out of me. Lovely asari, though, isn't she?

[Devin gives a charming smile, the type that has grazed the cover of nearly every vid he has starred in.]

Devin Tanner: Violet, truly is, the most 'Beautiful Shade of Blue'.

[The two have another round of laughs as the camera focuses, once again, on Danere.]

Danere Narus: Well, that's about all the time we have for today, Devin. On behalf of Industry News Weekly, I'd like to thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to share your story with us. We'd like to conclude the interview with an announcement you wish to make?

[Devin gives a nod and stares into the camera.]

Devin Tanner: Absolutely, Danere, and thanks for having me. I'm currently in negotiations with Headkick Media on a possible starring role in their next installment of the iconic Headkick series! Now, it's still early, but as you all know, nothing speaks louder than fan support. So hit the forums and let Headkick Media see how much you all want to see Devin Tanner kick some heads!

[Devin stands up and makes a show out of karate chopping the air. He gives a little embarrassed chuckle and a charming smile as he adjusts his jacket. Looking into the camera once more, he gives a wink. The camera slowly fades out as the theme music begins to play once more.]