Jasper & Jattic: Just Another Tuesday

Jasper & Jattic: Just Another Tuesday

A knock sounded at the door. Jattic scanned each monitor feverishly for any sign of his uninvited visitor. Nothing. He checked the front gate's footage, rewinding it back five minutes. Nothing. Another banging knock. Jattic scooped his sidearm off the desk and spun around to face the door.

"Who are you? I wasn't told to expect any visitors!" the batarian growled as he approached the door cautiously, clenching his pistol tightly.

"Open the dang door! It's cold as an asari's titty on Noveria out here!" Jasper's familiar voice replied, somewhat muffled by the thick security door.

Jattic sighed and set his pistol back down before tapping the control panel. Jasper clasped his jacket shut tightly and shuffled into the cramped room as the door slid open.

"How did you get in here!?" Jattic interrogated, "Did you not see the signs? Trespassers will be shot on sight. I could have killed you."

Jasper let out an amused chuckle as he glanced around the security office, "Good to see you, too, you grumpy old bastard."

"You're one to be tossing around the word 'old' so lightly..." Jattic snarled.

"Is that so? Well this old sonovagun managed to find his way in here jus' fine with you none the wiser! These old bones still got a few tricks!" Jasper bragged as he rubbed his hands together to warm them up, "Why ya got so many goddam eyes if ya don't use 'em?"

Jattic tilted his head to the right pointedly, a gesture that went entirely unnoticed by Jasper which only worked to further annoy the batarian. "What do you want? Did you really just break in to insult me?" Jattic questioned, turning his back on the old human to scan the monitors momentarily, "If I get in trouble for this, I'm going to kick your ass."

"Oh you ain't gonna get in trouble, four-eyes." Jasper waved the threat off dismissively, "And whaddya think I'm here for!? You're my friend, you didn't think I was jus' gonna forget your birthday, did ya?"

All four of Jattic's eyes snapped shut and he brought a hand up to his forehead. "I am most certainly not your friend." Jattic assured the man.

"Are too." Jasper insisted, "My best friend!"

"That says very little about you if your 'best friend' refuses to even acknowledge your friendship." Jattic spat back.

"Hate to be the one to tell ya this, but I'm your best friend, too, Jatty. So what does that say about you?" Jasper said before breaking into loud laughter.

"I told you to stop calling me that." Jattic snapped at the nickname 'Jatty'.

"And I said no!"

A short silence swept over the room. It would've been awkward for most people, but it didn't seem to particularly bother either of them. Jasper reached into his jacket, pulled out a flask and set it down on the desk right in front of Jattic. The human leaned against the desk, resting an elbow beside the flask and gave Jattic a shit-eating grin.

"Special birthday brew. Made it jus' fer you, Jatty." he said in almost a whisper, as if it was a secret.

Jattic groaned loudly. "There's no way I'm drinking that. I'm working. Even if I wasn't working, I have no intent on going blind anytime soon." The batarian retook his seat in front of the terminals and pushed the flask away.

"It ain't gonna make ya blind!" Jasper promised, "Besides, what's the point in havin' a couple spare eyes if ya can't spend 'em drinkin' the best damn moonshine in the galaxy!?"

Jasper scampered over to a crate beside the door and began dragging it across the room towards Jattic. Jattic gave a shake of his head as he watched Jasper plop down on the makeshift seat beside him. "Fine. One sip." Jattic begrudgingly agreed.

"Awright!" Jasper cheered with a clap of his hands and slid the flask back towards the batarian.

Jattic unscrewed the cap of the small metal flask and pulled it to his lips. He tilted the container back slightly and swallowed hard, then tilted it back a second time. Jasper clasped his hands together and waited impatiently to hear what the batarian thought.

"Adequate." the batarian said indifferently, which caused Jasper to whoop and holler as if he had just won the lottery.

"Pass it here!" Jasper said, reaching out.

Jattic pulled the flask back to his chest with a furrowed brow, "It's a birthday brew. It is not your birthday."

Jasper knew that was about the closest thing to a compliment he'd ever get out of the batarian and a smug smile crossed his lips. He began to rifle through his jacket pocket once more and produced a pack of playing cards. "Told ya it was the good stuff!" he bragged as he dealt to himself and the batarian.

The old human adjusted his dirty cap before scooping his cards up and giving them the once over. The batarian gave a loud sigh and did the same.

"Ya got any fours?" asked Jasper.

"Go fish." Jattic responded, seemingly irritated by merely using the ridiculous phrase. "Such a stupid game." he grunted.

"Uh huh..." Jasper said unphased, "...Now don't you go cheatin' again!"

"I do not cheat!" Jattic growled, as if he took great offense to the man's accusation.

"Cheaters always say that."