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#RedrockAgency – September 17, 2018
Jason allows a lopsided smirk to finally manifest, a low snort following. "Well, at least one of us is..." he mutters lightheartedly. Despite the dull pain shooting through his midsection, he makes no attempt to pull away. "Like I said, Ilyna. We're family." he reiterates. "I-... I don't have a whole lot of family left these days." he admits, his expression growing a bit somber. The people close to him always seem to get hurt. Or
worse. It was a cycle that began in his life at far too young of an age, like a curse. A cycle that he has walked through fire to try and break. To protect the people he cares about. But there's always another threat. Another fight. It's like spinning plates, you get one under control just in time for another to need your attention. It's exhausting. Draining. "So you? Linda? Li? I'd go through hell for you guys. I hope you
Ilyna shows no signs of letting go either, still completely oblivious that she's causing him pain. To make matters worse, she holds on a little bit tighter when the tone turns more somber. Ilyna takes a deep breath before responding. "And you know I'll be... right behind you," she whispers with a trembling voice. "No matter how ill-prepared I am."
Jason gives a snicker as he draws in a deep breath. There's no question there. But Ilyna's loyalty was never in doubt. Time and time again she's been there when he has needed her. As things fall quiet, Jason merely holds the hug in silence as his mind wanders back to the initial reason he needed to talk to Ilyna. Something he's been putting off since they fought their way off of that nightmarish ship. Finally pulling back from the
hug, he reaches up to rub at the back of his neck, obvious discomfort settling in. "I-... There is something else we need to talk about, Ilyna." he says, his eyes not fully meeting hers as he speaks.
Ilyna is more than content to hold this hug indefinitely, but she doesn't resist when he finally lets go. She has mostly composed herself by that point, but Jason's discomfort has her a bit worried. And like him, she averts his gaze. Is it about Halisi, and he's about to have another conversation like the one in the hotel room two years ago? "Sorry, I... forgot that you had something on your mind," she says.
Jason gives a couple of small nods as his only response initially as he considers his words. "You know I have nothing but love, respect, and trust in you." he says, as if it's some sort of qualifier to ready her for what he's about to say. "I don't-..." he stammers, a frustrated sigh slipping out at his own inability to say what he needs to say, "...You've been there for me. For Linda. You are family." he repeats once again in
an attempt at hammering it home. He gives a shake of his head, finally meeting her gaze, if only briefly, "Nothing else matters. Nothing." He falls silent once again as his gaze turns away from the asari. "But that-... thing." he finally says, his exprssion distant as it returns to the ordeal they narrowly survived. "I heard what it said." he explains, but doesn't bother repeating it as if it may offend her. 'Genetic
aberration will be studied.' The cold nature of the creature's words causes chills that he's quick to dispel by turning his attention back to Ilyna. "Linda hasn't asked, but she's read the reports. It's only a matter of time before she wants to know why- other than you- only humans were taken. I can't-..." he trails off, a humorless, nervous, almost-apologetic snicker slipping out as he draws in a breath, "...She's
my wife, Ilyna. I can't just lie to her." He allows his words to hang in the air, the information kept from Vasquez clearly weighing heavily on him.
Ilyna is quick to catch on what's talking about, but it almost looks like it surprises her when Jason brings it up. Every waking moment since she's had a lot on her mind to the point where something as serious as that has been buried. She casts a nervous glance at the bare cable sockets in the wall as Jason talks, double checking that the cable is still pulled out even if she kicked it aside when they entered
the room. Despite the privacy, however, her heart sinks. "Goddess," she says, turns and takes a few steps towards the curtained window on the right wall. "I..., Jason, please..., I... I...." She looks down and places a hand on her forehead. This problem couldn't have chosen a worse time to surface. "Maybe we-.... What if-...." She tries to make a convincing lie, but there is no way around the truth, and
she knows it. However, she's desperate. "I haven't looked at the reports yet," she says, not looking at Jason. "How exactly do they recall its words?"
Jason gives a shake of his head, guilt settling in at even bringing it up. He's kept her secret for years because it wasn't his to tell. But it had never been relevant before and there's a big difference between keeping your mouth shut because it's not your business and actively lying when something is brought to light and they're treading dangerously close to the latter after that last outing. "They don't. Didn't exactly seem
'report-worthy'." he sighs. "But it outlines who was taken. Who wasn't. Not hard to see that one of these things is not like the others..." Gaze low, he steps up behind Ilyna, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If she asks I-..." another apologetic sigh slips out, "...Ilyna, I don't want to start my marriage out by lying to my wife." he explains, almost pleading, hoping his friend will understand, "...I have to tell her. But I
think it would be best if we-... we-..." he stresses, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, "...all sat down and put this out in the open together. No lies. No secrets. Just-... put it out there. After everything we've all been through together-... Everything you've done for us? She'll understand." he says, ignoring the feeling in the pit of his stomach that doubts his optimism. "She will understand." he doubles down.
Ilyna stands completely still as she listens to Jason. She has already understood that this isn't easy for him either, but this brings the point home. There is really no way around this. "Jason, I... I'm scared," she says. "You trust me, Alyssa did,... H-... Halisi does. I hope Li will too when she's old enough to understand." She takes a deep breath, still not looking at Jason. "But Vasquez is... different,"
she says. "She knows the curse's danger more than anyone does, and she... she has good reason to fear it." She keeps using the word curse, even if Alyssa made it a point to express her loathing for the term every time Ilyna did back then. "Goddess, I... I-I... I don't know what to do," Ilyna says. "What if she doesn't understand? What if she thinks I'm a danger to Li, to Ehanis..., to you?"
Jason furrows his brow as he listens to Ilyna speak. She's not wrong. His time on Earth taking care of Vasquez is never far from his mind and there's no reason to believe it's any different for her. In one effortless gesture, the asari back on Niacal changed the entire course of their lives. But how is that any different than what the rest of them do on a regular basis? It doesn't take much to pull a trigger. His mind is pulled
back to his recent conversation with Gage. A question Jason posed to him. "Do you know how many people I've killed?" he asks, expression hardening slightly as he shields himself from the rabbit hole the question threatens to send his thoughts down. "Because I don't. Hell, I don't even remember a time when I did know. Slavers. Pirates. Mercenaries. Whole lot of bad people. But sometimes-..." he swallows hard, the image of
those infected being the first thing that enters his mind. A sea of blank, cold blue stares that he gunned down en masse, each one representing a life. Rellis' enemies- people who may have just been on the wrong side of a conflict. All the people he has worked with- marched into danger alongside- who never made it home. Surely their blood is on his hands, too. "...sometimes the line is a little more blurred than that. Just
the-... the nature of the life we live." He draws in a deep breath, giving a shake of his head to try and get him back on track. "Point is we're all dangerous. We've all got blood on our hands, and plenty of it." he says, that clearly weighing on him as well despite his transparent attempt to hide it. "I mean, Li is in a fucking wolf's den, Ilyna." he admits with a humorless snort, the inadvertant pun lost on him for
the moment as he considers the fact that she'll grow up surrounded by killers and mercenaries. He maneuvers around to Ilyna's side, hand still perched on her shoulder as he attempts to position himself to look her in the eye. "But we're there for each other. That doesn't change. Ever." He studies her expression, attention shifting from her left eye to her right. "So yeah, Linda will probably be mad. Because-... Well,
because that's just who she is. She might yell. Scream. But when she cools off, she'll remember who it was that helped drag her ass out of that Cerberus facility. Who has always been there for us, time-and-time-and-time again. Who she can trust. And she's not gonna let some-... Ardun-Yorkshire-..." so close, "...curse change that."
Ilyna still doesn't move, but she doesn't turn away when he walks around her. The look on her face is not sadness, but fear of what's going to happen next. It would have been so easy to disappear in the past, and it's likely the choice she would have made half a year ago, but now she's forced to confront it. She doesn't want to leave this life behind. "I didn't want this life for Li, I would have sacrificed a
lot to give her a safe future on Thessia, but... it's not possible," she says. "Because everything you said is true. It must have been what the other children saw as us, and... maybe Li will too with time." She's still more afraid of being seen as weak and incapable than her career choices to be called into question. She draws a shaking breath. "I will talk to her," she says. "More details are bound to
come to light, and... I think Vasquez will know the truth eventually even if we-...." She raises her brows as she finally turns to face him. "Jason, maybe the reason why she hasn't asked you... or me yet is that she doesn't have to."
Jason draws in a deep breath, holding Ilyna's gaze as she speaks. He gives a few nods to her initial sentiment. "Maybe they did and-... yeah. Maybe Li will, too." he admits, doing little to mask the sadness that brings to his voice. "But she'll also know that we'll do anything to keep her safe." he continues, seeming to at least gain some relief by that fact. A small measure of comfort amidst all of the destruction they always
seem to find themselves amongst. The sad, fortunate side effect of being dangerous. Of having so much blood on your hands. Li will know that they- along with Super Centurion, of course- will always be there to fight the monsters for her. As Ilyna posits her theory about Vasquez, he forces a small, lopsided smirk and nods. "...Maybe." he says. Would be nice. Vasquez already knowing and deeming it just... unimportant enough to
make a fuss about. But he knows her too well to believe that and it comes through in his tone. As much as he loves her, nothing is that easy with Vasquez. He gives Ilyna's shoulder another small squeeze as his hollow smile wavers slightly, "But-... We still need to talk to her about it." Realizing he has been a bit presumptuous about his own part in all of it, he offers an apologetic tilt of his head, "If-... Uhh-.... If
you don't mind me being there, of course." There's that silent part in the back of his mind barking at him that it's not an option. A part of him that worries his presence might be necessary. Vasquez isn't known for being the most tempered of people and, if things go sideways, he should be there to defuse the situation. But at the end of the day, his presence in the discussion needs to be Ilyna's decision.
Ilyna gives an even, weak hum. "Yeah, I... didn't mean to say a conversation isn't necessary," she says, "and I..., uh," she averts his gaze for a moment. "I want you there with me." She lets out a long sigh as she returns to looking at him. "You have to be there," she clarifies. "In case I... make things worse... again. So much is at stake, and... I... I don't want to have to leave this place, so I fear I may
Jason props his smirk back up, holding Ilyna's gaze as he gives a few small nods. "Then that's where I'll be. Right behind you." he says, repeating her earlier words. "Because you're not going anywhere, alright? This is your home." he assures. Taking a deep breath, he steps in and braves the soreness wracking his body to pull the asari into another hug. That pit in his stomach grows, worry settling in at just how Vasquez will