Vasquez ' emotion-filled smile wavers as she hears the fear in Jason's voice. One hand tugs the slacking blanket back into place around both of them while the other lingers at the side of his neck, thumb brushing across his wet cheek. "Jason..." her voice is soft, quiet, and she swallows as she searches his face. "It's okay. We'll figure it out. You're still you, Jason. You're still the amazing man that I fell in love
#Torthus-CrossBuilding – February 22, 2019
with. A man-... a man with friends all over town who's lives he's brightened. A boss that cares about his people. Pretty soon a father..." Her smile gains a bit of strength, head tilting a little. "...to a kid who's going to love you, you know. I think we both know who's going to be the 'fun parent'." she says, smile flashing wider briefly as a bit of amusement enters her expression, but its tempered by a worried
sadness that never leaves her face, and a bit of nerve that she can't quite shake. A sigh follows as her smile fades. "Jason... you're so much more than just a soldier. And if-... if you're ready to take a step back..." she allows herself to trail off, suppressing the hope she feels at the thought of not having to ever feel how she felt during the rescue of Li again. It can't be her choice. That's not fair.
Jason's gaze lowers once more as Vasquez begins to speak. That discomfort taking hold again at laying everything bare. At having to be on the receiving end of her reassurances. Her talk of becoming parents causes a genuine- if distant- smile to tug at his lips, his gaze resting on her lips as she speaks. It's a smile atop a fear that he may not be around to see their child grow up. And atop guilt that comes with the fact
that knowing this hasn't been enough to keep him from running headlong into danger. So much more than just a soldier. As much as he'd like to believe it, the words ring hollow in his ears. What else does he have to offer? Li isn't safe because he was a good friend to Ilyna. It's because he's a good soldier. A good soldier and a terrible husband. Those friends all over town whose lives he's
brightened? Va'ynna? Where would she be if he was anything else? Even Vasquez. It certainly wasn't his ability to put down a pitcher of beer in record time that got her out of the Barn. He doesn't answer the implied question. Not directly, anyway. "I meant what I said the other night, Linda..." he says instead, lifting his gaze to meet hers once more. To show her his conviction. Even if it terrifies him. He gives
her a gentle squeeze around the waist. "Once all of this Collector stuff is behind us? We settle up whatever debts we need to settle." Too many names come to mind. Enemies. Sala Piros. Rellis. Nari Aehan. Barkan. People with whom they don't quite know where they stand. The Shadow Broker. Cerberus. Hell, even Agent Lessard. "Cushion the bank account a little and-... and that's it for us. Okay?"
Vasquez nods in agreement. "Okay. That's it." she says softly, searching his face, seeing the fear and uncertainty that he tries to bury. Wishing she knew how to help. "Jason... I-..." a sigh as her gaze falls, hand slipping down to the crook of his neck as her attention travels briefly to the city lights below. "I'm not... good at this." she says with a small, slightly awkward chuckle as she looks back to him, a sniffle
following. "But you know I'm here, right? I know this is hard for you... but it's going be a good thing. After all the shit that we-... we have to be allowed to live. I-... I have to believe there's a chance. A chance that we can have a real life here. There-... there has to be..." A chance that the Collectors won't come. Won't cut all their plans short. When has things ever worked out their way? Her attempt at
reassuring Jason is misfiring as her own worries rekindle, causing her to look away again, trying and failing to avoid showing the sudden dread that nothing they talk of will matter. That they won't be given a choice to stop fighting. That there won't be any future for them or their child.
Jason holds Vasquez' gaze as she speaks. He tosses in another brief, "That's it." of his own just after hers. Her reassurance that she's here for him causes him to give a nod. "I know, Linda..." he says softly. When her worries begin to surface, it causes him to furrow his brow and bring his left hand up to her cheek, forcing her to look back at him. His right hand remains at the small of her back. He gives a few solemn
Jason shakes of his head, as if telling her not to let her mind entertain whatever worries might be slipping in. The same worries that he's been unable to shake. "There is." he says, that desire to lift her up when she's down temporarily overriding his own insecurities. "Okay? And-... and I don't know if I'm ready for it." he admits with a small shrug against the blankets draped over him and a brief, somber snicker,
Jason "...But I sure as hell know I need it. Because I've got too much to live for to risk throwing it all away over and over. So-... so that's it."
Vasquez 's rising unease peters out as Jason guides her gaze back to his, faint smile slowly returning. She draws in a breath, nodding as she wills herself not to go down that road again. They'll deal with whatever comes. Together. What's important right now is Jason's decision. "I love you, Jason..." she says quietly, undeniable relief showing through her smile at Jason's words. "...and I know you can do this." she adds
Vasquez with a nod, meeting his gaze for a moment before leaning in to press a kiss against his lips, the blanket starting to slip as she shifts to press closer against him, her body against his providing the comforting warmth and intimacy that enveloping arms no longer can.
Jason allows a hint of that familiar lopsided smirk to emerge amongst the wreckage of emotion plastered across his face as Vasquez gives voice to her confidence in him. It's not enough to ease his own concerns. His own fears that, when push comes to shove, he just won't be able to live up to expectations. Husband. Boyfriend. Friend. Nephew. Son. His mind is unable to ignore the reminders of just how much he has failed at
being each. Mina. Mikey. Justus. And he can't quite shake the fear that 'Father' might be added to that list of shortcomings. That 'Vasquez' might be added to that list of names. But he pushes that all aside for now and meets the kiss with eyes closed. "I love you, too." he says softly, only briefly breaking off the kiss to swipe some hair from her face with his thumb and search out her eyes with his own before lips
meet once more. The blanket falls away as his left hand drops, running across her right shoulder and down the back of her upper arm as he holds her close with his right.
Vasquez leans into the kiss, inevitably pressing his now bare back against the barrier as she does. Her hand pulls back at the odd tingling sensation of being pinned against the kinetic barrier, breaking the kiss with a slightly startled laugh that's still heavy with emotion. The sigh that follows as her eyes dart across his face carries no less weight. "We're not very good at the whole honeymoon thing, are we?" she says,
trying to muster a light-hearted tone, as if feeling compelled to fill the void left by Jason's distraught state.
Jason shifts both hands to the railing behind him when the kiss is broken, gripping the top of it as his back presses against the barrier. It distorts the transparency with a display of soft light jittering out from the point of impact behind him. His smirk grows slightly and he gives an amused snicker of his own. "No..." he agrees with a sigh, tilting his head to the side to get a glance out of the barrier-enclosed
balcony to get a look at the glowing city down below. "...No we're not." The barrier's lack of a real physical presence causes a bit of vertigo to set in as he takes in the view, forcing his gaze back to his wife. "But the week is just starting." he says through his smirk. It's a heavy smile, weighed down by the conversation that prefaced it. But it's an honest smile. He releases his grip on the railing with his left
hand and brings it back to Vasquez' waist to keep her pressed against him, the warmth and closeness a welcome feeling amongst the slight chill of the balcony. "Plenty of time to get it right."
Vasquez leans lightly against Jason, her right hand coming to rest against the railing as her left hooks around his neck, studying him with a faint smile that mirrors his, allowing the heavy conversation to drop for the time being. She can't make his fears go away any more than she can her own. But maybe it's better to focus on the here and now for a while. "There is, isn't there...?" she muses quietly, the cold balcony
air causing goosebumps to cover her skin without the blanket to shield her. Her gaze wanders across the dark horizon for a moment before settling back on Jason. "It's too early to be out of bed." she comments, stepping back from Jason, cold air rushing to meet newly exposed skin, prompting her to snatch the blanket and wrap it around her own shoulders. She reaches down with her left hand to grasp his and give it a
tug, standing back and studying Jason with a small grin that's at odds with the wetness that still lingers under her eyes, revealed by the shine of the city lights.
Jason allows his head to drop when his hand is taken, gaze falling to the ground as a chuckle escapes him. "Yeah?" he asks when he looks back to her face and allows himself to be tugged away from the barrier, causing the dull light to slowly dissipate at his back and, soon enough, the barrier has returned to full transparency. "Are you trying to say you want to go back to sleep?" he asks with a tilt of his head as he
Vasquez lets out a quiet snort, rolling her eyes as she pulls him closer. "Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying." she says through a smile that disrupts her attempt at a deadpan response. She's distracted from her retreat from the cold balcony as Jason once again comes within reach, her right hand moving to his side, her gaze following as she runs her hand upward idly. The blanket hangs loosely around her shoulders with
Jason's smirk grows as he steps in close. "Is it?" he asks distractedly as his free hand rests against Vasquez' hip. Free of the blanket, his body is in full view. Dotted with scars from battles past. A testament to just how dangerous their lives are. And just how lucky they are to have made it to this specific moment. Especially when so many others have been lost along the way. The bruising from his most recent brush with
death has began to clear up, but there's still the occasional painful-looking blues and purples that run along his ribcage. "You sure about that?" he continues to tease as he widens his stance.
Vasquez ' gaze continues to follow as her fingertips trace gently across old scars and unfaded bruises. Her smile wavers a little, before Jason's words bring it back, a small, quiet chuckle slipping out. She continues to follow her hand as it slowly makes its way up Jason's chest, lingering over his heart. She blinks as her gaze remains ther as well, feeling his heartbeat against her hand. She shifts a little closer, her
legs brushing against Jason's, and soon her eyes meet his again. "What, you have a better idea?" she asks with a raised eyebrow, the playful grin spreading across her lips almost at odds with the gentle affection in her eyes. The thankfulness and relief that he's there. Alive. That they both are here, together.
Jason watches Vasquez as she draws lines across his skin with her fingertips. It's certainly a soldier's body. Scarred and beaten but shaped and honed into a weapon. He leans in slightly, pressing his forehead against hers when she meets his gaze once again, pressing his lips against the grin crossing hers. It's a soft, slow kiss. As he breaks the kiss, he furrows his brow as if considering her question. "...Think I
Vasquez ' eyes close as she lets the soft kiss linger on her lips, grin temporarily faded only to reappear as Jason speaks. She draws in a long breath through her nose, and instead of responding she turns her head to lean in for another, deeper kiss, still moving slow. Her hand slips up to his neck to pull him along as she backs through the open doorway.
Jason presses into the kiss, absently following her through the door as both hands turn to her hips, gripping them briefly before his hands begin to slowly travel across her lower back. It doesn't bring the comfort it once did. It provides little sensation. No sense of heat. But the pressure and feedback- just the sense of presence- is better than nothing. To feel the woman he loves in his arms, even if his arms aren't
what they once were. It's more of an awkward, slow stagger than a walk to get into the room since he doesn't seem too eager to break the kiss. And the door is forgotten altogether, left open to allow the cold from of the balcony to make its way inside.
Vasquez breaks the kiss with a snicker as they nearly trip on the threshold of the sliding door, the side of her face brushing against Jason's as she briefly looks around, getting her bearings in the dim bedroom. She lingers in his arms for a moment before pressing a quick kiss against his neck and breaking free, keeping hold of his hand as she turns to throw the blanket she brought back onto the bed. Left in just her
panties and with chilly air seeping in through the open balcony door slipping under the warm covers of the luxurious bed seems awfully appealing, and she's quick to sit down on the side of the bed, tugging Jason along by his hand as she scoots back, using her right to shift the covers to let them both in.
Jason has a big dumb smirk plastered across his face as they recover from the near-trip. A low snicker of his own escapes him as he turns his face to allow his lips to brush against Vasquez' cheek while she glances around. He allows himself to be led towards the bed, positioning himself between her legs when she sits down at the edge. He reorients his grip on her hand as she addresses the covers, interlocking their fingers
and pulling her hand up to his lips to press a brief kiss against the back of it. While she addresses the covers, he turns his gaze from her hand to her body, blue eyes scanning across her. Familiar terrain. There's a certain comfort in that. In knowing that this is the body that he's shared a bed with for years. That he's taken the time to get to know it intimately. To know each and every scar. Each and every peak
and valley. When she has the covers back, he steps back and reaches down, hooking an arm behind her knees to sweep her playfully up into the bed before sliding in beside her and pulling the blankets up over them.