Jessica has continued her awkward silence during the entirety of their journey back to the Respite. The warmth and familiarity afforded by the establishment causes a small smile to resurface as she glances out over the bar, though it's clear that something is bothering her. She finally removes her hand from Yan Sun's pocket as they start up the stairs and makes short work of the door to their room. Once inside she sets her six pack
#YanSun'sRoom – March 30, 2018
down on the desk and wastes no time in removing the hand cannon from her side in silence. The strange calm offered by their room after a less-than-calm week just adds further discomfort to an already awkward situation.
Yan Sun enters the room after Jessica, placing the second pack down next to the first on the desk and then going to remove her winter clothes. She looks back over her shoulder at Jessica as she unzips her jacket. "Good to be back...?" she asks, flashing a small smile.
Jessica snaps her attention to Yan Sun, furrowing her brow as she attempts to figure out what she asked, her mind somewhere else entirely. "Mmm?" she hums before nodding a number of times. "Oh-.... Mmhm." she decides uncharacteristically quietly. She removes the thermal clip from the weapon and sets it on the desk before placing the sidearm beside it.
Yan Sun 's smile fades as Jessica's unusually quiet mood makes itself known again. Her gaze falls and she removes the rest of her winter clothes in silence, heading over towards the desk once she's out of her boots. She stops briefly as she reads another message, but the distraction lasts only a moment before she approaches Jessica. Her gaze falls on the gold-plated handcannon, her eyebrow rising. "Uh... that's new, right?"
Jessica gives a couple of small nods as she studies the weapon. "Mmm. I find it when-..." she begins but stops, deciding against going into any detail. "Is maybe worth some credits. I don't know." she continues with a shrug. She looks it over, feigning interest in the weapon just to keep herself occupied. But she quickly realizes that can only last for so long before she's going to have to face Yan Sun. "Why did you wait for me?
Mmm?" she asks as she turns towards Yan Sun. "You have your opportunity to go. So-... So why are you still here?" Her tone seems almost accusatory.
Yan Sun blinks, looking a little taken aback. "Wh-... uhm... what?" She remains in place, looking at Jessica with a confused look. "Be-... because I like you? Because I like being here with you?" She flashes a small smile but it falters almost immediately. "Why would-... why would I leave?" she asks, crossing her arms loosely as she studies her with furrowed eyebrows.
Jessica gives an unamused snort, her good eye immediately turning glassy. "Because I am selfish? Because I am a-... a heartless psycho, who will let innocent people die? Just so that I am still living, mmm?" she says, doing her best to recite Nathan's description of her as she folds her arms across her armored chest. "People died. When we fight the Collectors? Mmm, many people died. And I-... I feel nothing for them. They are
dead? Good! Fuck them! Because-... Because is better them than me, mmm?" she explains, though her emotional state implies that she certainly feels more than 'nothing'. "I can't even come home for your fucking birthday because-... because I don't give a shit about you. Only me. My own fucking family is rotting in the ground because of me, kitty cat! Just-... Just go already!" she says, uncrossing her arms as she
gestures towards the door, nearly pleading with her. A few tears escape from her left eye. "Go or-... or you will be ending up just like them..." she explains, losing a bit of her energy near the tail end of her rant.
Yan Sun seems ready to interrupt with "That's bullshit!" but as Jessica continues she goes silent, her frown deepening as she listens. She shakes her head at Jessica's insistence that she doesn't care about anyone but herself, but the increasingly intense self-berating and urging her to leave that follows causes her to flinch a few times, blinking as her eyes start to tear up. There's a mix of confusion, sympathy, and hints of
fear and hurt in her face as Jessica's rant ends. "Jessica... that's not-... that's bullshit. I-I-... I wouldn't be here if you didn't care. Literally. You saved my life." she says, rapid blinks following as she fails to keep a few tears from escaping, overwhelmed by the sudden emotional outburst from Jessica. "I-... I don't know what happened out there, but... don't try to feed me that 胡说. You are not some...
'heartless psycho' and you know it!" she exclaims, stepping closer and reaching for the hand she used to gesture at the door, doing quite the opposite of what she told her to do. "And I'm not leaving."
Jessica's gaze falls to their hands as Yan Sun grasps hers. A heavy silence overtakes her as she finds herself unwilling to bother arguing with Yan Sun. She finds herself dwelling on just how out of place she felt with Redrock out there. A group of people willing to set off across the galaxy just to save one little girl. Meanwhile, all Jessica cared about was getting back home. Seeing Yan Sun again. After all of the things she has
done in her life, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was just a wolf in sheep's clothing. No different now than when she first joined up with claims of being an Alliance soldier. Pretending to have survived the attack on the Citadel. She's a selfish criminal who got away with her crimes while everyone she loved burned to the ground around her because of it. And as much as she'd like to say all of this- open up- spill
her heart out. It's just not in her nature. And in her aching heart she knows that every word Nathan said was true, and she's little more than poison for Yan Sun. A bad decision that will catch up to Yan Sun eventually. The right thing to do would be to tell her to go. Force her to go, if need be. But she can't do that, either. Because she is selfish. "...Then-... Then you are stupid..." is all she manages, using Yan
Yan Sun wraps her own arms around Jessica, hugging her tightly. "If you think I'm stupid for knowing you're not some heartless monster? Then... whatever. Call me stupid." she says with a sniffle, her wet cheek brushing against the burnt skin on the side of Jessica's face as she pulls her head back to look at her, loosening the hug in the process. She seems about to say something, her mouth opening, but instead her gaze falls, and
she withdraws entirely from the hug. "I-... the last two months? What-... whatever this is..." she says with a small shrug, her hands seeking out the elbows on opposite arms as she crosses them loosely, a defensive gesture. "...it's meant a lot to me." she says, her gaze focusing on the floor next to Jessica. "And-... and you can't convince me the complicated, fascinating person I've gotten to know, the person you've
showed me, isn't real." Her gaze darts back up to meet Jessica's briefly, and she brings one hand up to wipe at her tears with an awkward chuckle. "I-... I know this isn't easy for you, Jessica. I jus-... I'm here because I want to be. Because... I-... I really like you, you know...?" she says, stumbling over her words slightly as her gaze falls back to the floor past Jessica.
Jessica looks as though a lifetime of regrets are all weighing her down at once. She lets Yan Sun speak uninterrupted, giving a few short, distant nods along the way. She's unable to deny to herself just how much their time together has meant to her but, as is usually the case with Jessica, Yan Sun is just going to have to get used to some things being left unsaid. Instead, a muttered, tired: "...Mmm. I am very likable..." is what
Yan Sun nods slightly, a small smirk crossing her lips, but there's an underlying hint of sadness, and perhaps discomfort, as she accepts that her fumbling openness will be met only with Jessica's typical brand of remarks. The weight on Jessica's shoulders doesn't go unnoticed, and she finds herself lingering in place, wishing she knew what to say. Wishing she knew how to get her to open up. But she doesn't. So the best she can
do is be there. She lets out a sigh, heading over towards the bed and taking a seat on the edge, pulling her legs up and activating her omni-tool as she reads a message, paying little actual attention to it. It's mostly a distraction to relieve the lingering discomfort she feels.
Jessica remains in place near the desk, slowly peeling off her single gauntlet and dropping it onto the desk with a loud THUNK before beginning to work at her armor's plating. She blinks at the lingering wetness in her eye and brings her freed hand up to wipe at it with the palm of her hand. As Yan Sun begins to go through her messages, however, something seems to occur to her and she reaches for her own omni-tool, quickly
unslotting it from her armor. Once the interface flashes to life, her brown eye hastily scans over to the corner. 11:58. "Happy birthday!" she bellows out, racing the clock as she peers at Yan Sun through the transparent interface hovering before her.
Yan Sun startles at the sudden congratulations, her gaze snapping over to Jessica as she almost slip off the edge of the bed, pressing a palm against it prevent said fate. A small smile inevitably spreads across her face, and she deactivates the interface, letting her hands rest idly against her crossed legs instead. "Thanks..." she says with a slight snicker, her mood seeming to lift a little. "Glad you could make it." It's not
a barb. Quite the opposite. Her tone is genuine, as is the faint smile on her lips. Her gaze falls to Jessica's armor, taking in its grimy, battered state, and the lingering smell that accompanies it, which has grown noticeable now that they're in a confined space. She quietly wonders what she went through out there. Collectors. It was hard to take in. She forces her focus back to the present, gaze travelling up to
Jessica's face. "So... what do I get?" she says, trying to keep a lighthearted tone, although Jessica's heavy words still fill her mind. She's well aware that she didn't know about her birthday of course, it's not like she'd really thought to tell her.
Jessica snorts loudly as she watches Yan Sun's near-slip through the glowing projection, muttering a soft: "You are such a fool." before she allows her omni-tool's interface to dissipate and she haphazardly underhands the device onto the desk, most likely causing another chip along the outer casing to go with all of the others. Yan Sun's question causes her to furrow her brow and lower her head in thought. "I have booze-..." she
decides, reaching over to the desk to pluck the open bottle out of the carrier and hold it up. "...and I have not been fucking all week, mmm? So... Happy birthday, slut, take off your pants." she jokes. Well, it's probably a joke. Most likely. No, given her track record it's almost certainly not a joke.
Yan Sun blinks. She probably should've expected that one. "Uhm... yeah, no, I don't think so. But... thanks?" she says, her mind pretty far from sex after the conversation they just had. "I'll take the beer, I guess..." she adds with a small shrug, reaching out towards the bottle as if hoping Jessica will hand it to her.
Jessica's frown makes a return. "Oh, you are too good for me now? Fine. No beer for you, then." she says, pulling the beer back towards herself and taking a long swig of it as she starts towards the bathroom. "If you touch any of my things while I am gone I am going to kick your ass." she calls out as she moves on to do her pre-shower inspection.
Yan Sun remains in bed, withdrawing her hand as the beer is pulled back. "I don't like beer anyway!" she calls out after Jessica as she leaves for the bathroom. There's a strange feeling of whiplash in going from a week of loneliness and uncertainty to an intensely emotional conversation that ends as soon as it began. And now they're back to acting like normal. Then again, such emotional rollercoasters weren't exactly a rarity
with Jessica. Her shields were almost always up, and it never lasted long when she dropped them. She finds herself left with a conflicting mixture of emotions, stuck between relief and excitement over having Jessica back, and worry and pain over what she said just minutes ago. It wasn't the first time she'd expressed those kinds of sentiments, but it had been so intense, and so raw, it was hard to just act like what
Jessica's somewhat muffled voice sounds out from the bathroom. "Where is my toothbrush?! I'm going to kick your teeth down-... Oh. Is right here. You are lucky! ....For now!" And soon after the shower comes to life. Despite the change in directions, it's going to take more than a warm shower and words of encouragement from Yan Sun to wash away what she experienced out there and Nathan's words that echo in her head. He wasn't
wrong. This had been her entire life. Day in. Day out. Survival at all costs. Looking out for herself and stepping over anyone who got in her way. She and Martin grew up dreaming of a better tomorrow, but it always meant surviving today to get there. And 'surviving today' in Adrasteia was a difficult path to walk. But where has it gotten her? Lost and alone in a galaxy with too many enemies and little more than photographs
to remember the ones she loved. 'Earth will be better. It will be different.' she silently tells herself, but that voice deep inside of her knows otherwise, reminding her that you can take the criminal out of Adrasteia, but you'll never take the Adrasteia out of the criminal. It's only a matter of time before she says the wrong words, does the wrong thing, or pisses off the wrong person. And it'll be Yan Sun who pays for